Random 24 Bloggg

I had to take a break from tributes this week to say OH MY GOD WHAT AN ENDING. The fact that Dana is evil is something that I called from Day 1. It was pretty easy to tell. Whenever she looks into the camera she just has the creepiest look ever on her face and it's easy to tell there is something wrong with her. Beside the fact that yes she's hiding her real identity from the world, and yes she just killed two more people. But other than those minor details her facial expression tells it all.

I was paroosing around the world wide web to find things that had to do with 24 to blog about and I came across a facebook group titled "Bauerisms". This group has 24 commandments for Jack Bauer Lovers world wide.

The 24 Commandments of Bauerism:

1. Jack Bauer is the one and only god.

2. You shall hold no other gods before Jack.

3. Thou shall not worship false idols such as Chuck Norris or Macgyver.

4. Thou shall not use the name 'Jack Bauer' in vain under punishment of CTU torture.

5. There is no such thing as a sabbath day. Jack Bauer only rests when the job is done. In fact, our God and his disciples regularly refrain from rest for 24 hours or more.

6. Honour thy mother and thy father, unless they are withholding crucial information, in which case you are to do whatever is necessary.Also, if you have a brother named Graem, you should begin interrogation immediately.

7. Thou shall not murder innocent civilians. It is not a sin, however, to kill traitors, terrorists, people helping terrorists, convenience store owners, or anyone that seems suspicious.

8. Thou must commit adultery. If you get married, you are putting in your wife in danger. If you have multiple sexual partners at the same time, terrorists can never kidnap them all.

9. Thou shall not steal except when it is absolutely necessary. An example of such a situation would be to carjack someone in order to chase after a terrorist.

10. Thou shall not covet thy neighbour's wife, unless thy neighbour is a terrorist, in which case you must seduce her in order to get information on her husband... and then just to rub it in his face after he is caught.

11. In times of crisis, thou must ask themselves WWJBD (What Would Jack Bauer Do?)

12. Thou must tune into 24 on Fox every week. If you miss an episode and don't record it for immediate viewing , you are a terrorist.

13. Thou must purchase all seasons of 24 on dvd. If thou cannot afford to do this, thou must borrow or rent these dvds frequently.

14. Procreation is dangerous because it gives terrorists the opportunity to harm someone you love. If you wish to procreate, you must have as many children as possible, and all daughters that do not resemble the female goddess of Bauerism, Kim Bauer, must be killed at birth.

15. Always be on the lookout for moles. While the people around you may seem loyal, they could really be helping the enemy. Be especially suspicious of those who really need the money or could be easily blackmailed. The terrorists are likely using them for information.

16. You are to wear Aviators at all times. Even at night or when inside.

17. Carrying a brown handbag with you has been officially made not gay since season 5.

18. Acceptable vehicles for members of Bauerism to own include Fords, Toyotas, and the new Hyundai Genesis. Chinese cars are strictly forbidden. If Chinese vehicles become successful outside of China, the terrorists will have won.

19. Do not be afraid to break protocols in order to get results. Sometimes you must go dark and work on your own.

20. Everything you do is to be done for the good of your country. This should not apply if your country is in the Middle East or certain parts of Asia (North Korea, China). In these cases, everything you do should be done for the good of America.

21. Be very careful and know who you can trust. Always remember that everyone is a possible suspect, including the President and your own family.

22. It is not considered homosexual to find Jack Bauer attractive even if you are a man. Jack Bauer is no ordinary man, and therefore it is perfectly normal to find him irresistible. In fact, anything less would be considered blasphemy and treason.

23. You are to be respectful and tolerant of people of all races and religions. Except for those where the majority of people are terrorists. The only other exceptions to this rule are the religions of mormonism and scientology, because those people are not worthy of respect, and should be coverted to Bauerism through the conversion process known as 'Debriefing'.

24. The act of worship can be done in many ways. Such fitting activities include; capturing terrorists, watching 24, talking about 24, and to a shrine of Jack Bauer. True Bauerists should have a shrine to our god in their homes, and also build outdoor statues of Jack Bauer if possible. There is no reason to pray in Bauerism. Prayer is a sign of weakness; Jack Bauer will not grant you whatever you want, you must obtain it yourself through the path Jack has laid out for you.

Even Jack Bauer is following Bauerism #1 and praying to himself.

Here is a funny 24/Jack Bauer parody:

Jack Bauer Quote of the Week:

"I'm federal agent Jack Bauer. This is the longest day of my life." --Jack Bauer, Day 1, Premier Episode